I was 18, a year that held so many promises. A year of change. Freedom, college, a license to ride and everything else I wanted. I was going to have a blast!
Well, not really! Life was showing its ugly side, a side Id not seen and a side not known. Id been born and brought up in a family that only promised the very best. Born to the most wonderful parents a guy could ask for. This was not what I was ready for. Our business was suffering and we had to shut it down. The promising grades that had been with me all through seemed to be slipping all of a sudden. My friends didn’t want me around anymore as I didn’t have the money to flash around. Life was slowing down.
To top it all freedom was taking its toll and it was being abused. The only things that kept me from facing reality was the late night parties and everything else that seemed to give me a high. Life was certainly looking bleak. It held no promises and definitely not a future. The best thing was to quit. A long sleep was something I casually prayed for. A permanent shutdown where nothing bothers you any more. You dont have to think “Why am I alive? What for? Do I live on?” But no one knew what I was going through nor my family. To everyone I was still living the perfect life. They were all oblivious to what we as a family were going thorough. “Kiran had a life ” and the pride in me kept from letting the whole world know otherwise.
But then everything was bound to change. Because Jesus, someone I really didn’t know too well had other plans. My parents being parents had noticed that I wasn’t what I used to be. So against my wishes and plans, I was sent for a retreat by Bro Jose Anathanam to straighten me out. The following four days I received a lot of information from the bible and he seemed to be quite an entertaining speaker . It did seem to do a lot of good for everybody but me. Thats when I had to meet up with Rajesh, who happens to be my Pastor now. I was in a queue to be prayed over. When it was my turn he looked at me and said “You know your life is gone. You dont have anything to look forward to and if you continue this way you are gone! You better get down to praying and asking Lord for mercy and help. Jesus is the only one who can help you.”
WOW! How did someone who I barely know get to know something that only I knew. Not a soul knew my life was gone. Even my parents never knew how badly messed up I was. But he had me. I knew I needed help big time. There was no point pretending anymore that things were perfect since here was someone who knew things weren’t. I poured out the mess I was in to him. He prayed for me and he said Jesus will get me out of it. That day I was sitting in church after a session. After sometime realization hit me that I was crying out and praying to God, something Id never done all my life. He was like a real person more real that any person who I could trust. I knew he was the only one who could help me and I held on to him pouring my heart out in prayer. Its so funny as my pastor says “If you need to tell someone all your problems it would probably take hours or even days. But then if you were to say the same thing to Jesus it would barely take a few words beginning with ‘You know Lord…… ‘” That day I gave my life to Jesus.
I heard Br Jose speak from Isaiah 1:18 saying “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” and 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” I started believing that Jesus would do the same for me. There is nothing like being known you are forgiven. And it was the best feeling in my life till date. It didn’t matter what Id done Jesus was willing to forgive and he had paid the price for my sins and the sins of the world when he died for me on Calvary.
My life has never been the same. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” I wanted a new life and Jesus gave it to me. Its been 14 years now and I can never relate with the person I was 14 years ago. I believe Benny Hinn when he says “The greatest miracle is the new born experience”. Need a new life? Try Jesus.
John 10:10 says “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance to the full, till it overflows.” When Jesus came into my life I got it back once again and today I enjoy life in all its fullness and abundance. Most of you might wonder whether I am what I am because I am doing well. Let me put it this way I am doing well because of Jesus and I am what I am because of Jesus. Malachi 3:18 says “And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.” If you see anything good in me its because I serve Jesus.
Now this is one long post and you might be wondering why I would want to write something like this. Reason is I want everyone to know that I belong to Jesus. I noticed over the years that friend’s often did not realize this probably because of my actions. I have probably been a bad testimony to Jesus at times. However I would like correct that to say that Jesus is everything to me and I have dedicated my life to the gospel of Jesus Christ. If somehow my actions at any time made you to think otherwise please forgive me and do not judge Jesus or the message of the gospel because of my failures or the testimony of my actions.
I have many a time in futile tried to reach out to friends but even when I am not there I would like you to know that you can always turn your life to Jesus and start a new life. If you have known me you would realize that I have not lacked anything post Jesus. Some people feel that following Jesus is no fun. But the passage John 10:10 quoted above says a different story and you know I lead a normal fun filled life. In my earlier days I used to look forward to parties and then most times they don’t live to expectations and when the party is over you are right back where you started, stuck with the same old life. But when you have a worship experience with Jesus its the other way around, there is not much you look forward to but when you are done worshiping the Lord the party is not over its just beginning because of the new hope and strength you have in Jesus.
I always take Solomon as an example when looking at todays world. Solomon had the best of everything. He was wise beyond comparison, rich as can be be. Had huge mansions. Had all the women he probably wanted. He denied himself no pleasure. You can find it all if you read Ecclesiastes 1 and 2. But Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 1:2 it was all meaningless and grasping for the wind. When you grasp wind you open your palms to find that you never really had anything. All of us are in a pursuit of all that Solomon had but when we do receive it we wouldn’t want to feel the same way he did. It would definitely not feel worth it. Solomon after all his folly says in Ecclesiastes 2:24-26 “Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor. This also, I saw, was from the hand of God. For who can eat, or who can have enjoyment, more than I? For God gives wisdom and knowledge and joy to a man who is good in His sight; but to the sinner He gives the work of gathering and collecting, that he may give to him who is good before God.
If you have lost hope and are clueless, Jesus wants to let you that he is the way, the truth and the life. Accept Jesus into your life. Let me know if you do need help knowing Jesus but I would always recommend you go to www.joshuageneration.org our ministry website where you can hear the gospel where ever you are in the world!